He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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