You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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