***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
