OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
