Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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