I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
