Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
