Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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