well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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