the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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