All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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