awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
