Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize