I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
