Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize