We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
