Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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