You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
