I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will pee on everything he values.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
