My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
