the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
