Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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