Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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