**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize