My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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