You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
