the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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