Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
