they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
