It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
