you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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