I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
