I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
