I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize