i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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