No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
