I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
