I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
