omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
