I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
