don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
