Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
