I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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