does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
