How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
