I'm eating all of the evidence.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I need moral support for this bender
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
