Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
