I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
