I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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