No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
