She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
