I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
