I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
