(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
