dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
