if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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