you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You have to summon your inner elephant
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
