So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
