So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
