i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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