She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
