Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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